Score: 10

"Overall: 9.5/10"

submission: SAS: Zombie Assault 2

date: October 28, 2009

Guys, my only complaints with this game are that it lags sometimes (like when I manage to score 50+ kills with a single round from the L115A1 rifle (or any other high-powered gun, actually), and that the Benelli M1014 is only available on the Insane Asylum map (awesome job there, too. I'll review that in a bit :3).

Gameplay: 9/10. Starts off slow, but gets fast-paced fairly quickly. If you don't use the right combination of weapons, tactics and just running, expect do die before the 15th wave. Awesome addition with the upgradeable barricades (IIRC, the previous version only went up to brick walls).

Weapons: 10/10. Awesome selection, seems like each weapon has it's own benefits and drawbacks (example: MG4 LMG (unlocked in the Infirmary, $10,000 to buy. 400 round magazine, same damage as the 417 at close range, alhough the damage penalty at longer ranges is noticable, slow reload, but the movement speed penalty compared to the M60 seems to be slightly less (always a plus if/when you get cornered).

Enemy variety: easy 10/10. From the basic Zacks, to the Re-Animators (the big red guys. FUCK, they're annoying). Keeps you on your toes, and (hopefully) teaches you early on to prioritize your targets (i.e don't go after the loner when there's a horde of chefs in the same room as you, take out the Re-Animators first, then everything else, or if you're me, take out everything else, THEN the Re-Animators).

Levels: 9/10. Honestly, I feel like there could have been more here, like say 5-Star General (no movement penalty with heavy weapons), maybe something like increased explosives damage when you make 2nd Lieutenant, etc etc.

Now, to answer Knokka's questions. Badassness doubles your maximum health, and Witness The Fitness increases your running speed to RAGE levels (though sadly, removes that perk's availability), without the annoying red border on the screen.

Score: 10

"Why has no one pointed this out yet?"

submission: It's Freakin' Luigi

date: July 16, 2009

My favorite scene has to be Luigi's Hat.

"Ohh, I'm black yo, I'm black yo, an I'm blackity-black an I'm black ya'll!"

Freakin' classic, man. But where'd you get the audio for the Goomba from?

Score: 10

"Overall a great game, but..."

submission: Endless Zombie Rampage

date: July 11, 2009

I can't help but notice the people complaining that it's too hard, like skillz101 saying that it takes 5 or 6 zeds 20 to 30 seconds to kill the base. That is a lack of skill on the part of the gamer, not a problem with the game itself. If you can't kill those 5 or 6 zeds in less than 20 seconds, what the f*** are you even DOING playing the game in the first place?

And, with THAT out of the way, it's

REVIEW TIME!

Personally, my only issue is how hard it is to effectively use the Jackhammer. I know it fires damn fast, but I think 30 rounds/sec is TOO fast, even for an auto shotgun. Poor fire control leads to wasted ammo, which leads to more time spent reloading, which = you getting killed faster.

Gameplay - 9/10. Gets kinda boring after the 80th level of owning the bastards with the SCAR, DE, Laser Cannon, SPAS-12 and the GAU-18. but it's always fun coating the field in blood, guts, gore and dismembered bodies.

graphics - 9.5/10. Would have liked to see an adjustable graphics option, even if it was just tapping the Shift key or something.

Weapon variety - 20/10. You covered all the bases, from pistols to magnums, assault rifles to miniguns and theoretic weapons like the laser cannon. Personal favorites are the SCAR, DE, SPAS-12, FN Five-seveN and the Laser Cannon.

Score: 10

"To the guy below me....."

submission: Thing-Thing 4

date: June 11, 2009

Dude, the "hordes and hordes of enemies coming out of nowhere" thing is the EXACT SAME as it is in the REST of the TT games.

I would honestly like to see you create something this good BY YOURSELF in a year.

No, seriously. You think you can do better, then fucking PROVE it.

Now, with THAT out of the way, on to the review.

Graphics - 9.5/10. Only problem here was how the corpses tend to pile up in certain areas, which can make fighting a right pain in the ass.

Gameplay - 10/10. Good combo of tactics, speed and badassery all rolled into one. It takes a fair amount of skill to force 4 .45 bullets into a guy's head while backflipping to dodge enemy fire, and come out of it unharmed.

I especially liked how you didn't need to hope that the next guy you killed would drop you that much-needed health pack after the last fire-fight by bringing back the health regeneration from TT2.

Only complaint here is the lack of TRUE survival modes. Sure, you have the Bean Chamber and the Zombie Chamber, but those aren't the same as TT3, which, in my mind, was the best when it came to in-game survival challenges.

Controls - 10/10. Customizable, but the standard ASWD works great for me, so I never bother with it unless I want a challenge.

Overall - 9.5/10. Great game, minor flaws, but still freaking EPIC, man.

Weasel/Sean, I know you said you WILL NOT make another TT game, but at least consider another Arena game, with all the weapons, bosses and enemies from the previous games in the series.

Score: 10

"MAJOR improvement over ZH1&2 = WIN"

submission: zombie hord3!!!

date: March 24, 2009

I especially like the upgradable weapons, not to mention the sheer variety. The melee was a needed, and VERY welcome addition, as well.

However, I have one complaint. At the end, don't you think he could have at LEAST tossed the Doc a 1911 or something? Actually, scratch that. I would have put a bullet into both his knees so he couldn't run.

Any plans for a sequel, maybe finding the source of the zombies and destroying it?

Score: 10

"Help w/ Artifact 19"

submission: Thing-Thing Arena 3

date: March 16, 2009

For the people having trouble with getting this truly EPIC gun, you need EVERY achievement, not just the medals here. That includes the OVER 9000!!!! one, as well as the medals, Pain Don't Hurt, etc etc.

The full achievement guide can be viewed on CMG's website, if you need help.

And yes, you DO need 9001 kills in ONE round. Pain in the ass, but damn rewarding.

Review time!

Graphics - 9.5/10
I liked the splatters and stains and whatnot, but even with all the options turned to Off, I started lagging after about my 8,000th kill.

Gameplay - 20/10
You somehow managed to mix in some strategy, skill, and pure Thing-Thing EPIC into this. I especially liked how you need to reload instead of just having a seemingly infinite amount of ammo like in all the other games. Gave it the "GOD I hope this next round kills the fucker." excitement I like.

Controls - 10/10
Familiar, easy to use, AND customizable! What else could I want? Oh yeah, an R key that actually worked when I wanted it to.

Keep the EPIC coming, Weasel.

Score: 9

"For all the fucktards in the MMO"

submission: Dead Frontier Night Three

date: February 23, 2009

You can use the in-game cash to buy things from other people, and you would have to be RETARDED to not see that.

If you are one of the people that can not read the GIANT red text at the top of the Shop Screen, then kindly GTFO the god-damn game, and go back to SHITSCAPE, please.

It IS possible to buy things from other people, you just need to get a GODDAMN clue first. That is all, good day.

BTW, NEil, if you even read these comments anymore, fix the server ASAP. From what my clan leader says, DF has been down for the past six hours. I was looking forward to raping a Behemoth with my Thompson.

Player # 1

Score: 9

"If ya think this is good, the MMO is even better"

submission: Dead Frontier: Night Two

date: December 23, 2008

Hey Neil, figured I'd comment on one of thes for once. Been playing the MMO since about day 1, and love every single minute of it.

On to the review

My ONLY complaint is that the pic for the TMP is actually an Uzi with the stock folded. other than that little mess-up, which I know you know about, it's fucking sweet. Downloaded it for laughs and for when the MMO is down, use it to keep myself sharp.

I love the variety of weapons and zeds, and love how you can't always guarantee that they drop you some ammo.

Looking forward to when my 5 day ban dies so I can get back to some REAL action, mate.

Also, good luck with little Matthew, and of course, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

With massive thanks, I Love Defense, player # 80599. See ya in the streets of Fairview.

Score: 10

"AWE SUM!"

submission: 13 Days in Hell

date: December 23, 2008

First, let me say that this game is FUCKING sweet! It's easy, yet somewhat challenging, what with the aiming reticle moving around, making it hard to line up a shot with the first three guns.

I actually skip the shotgun most of the time because it's so hard to aim. The final gun, the MG, is a BIT pathetic, IMO, but w/e. The 4th gun is the best. 12 rounds, affordable ammo, highly accurate, and DAMN powerful. To whoever thinks this is hard, try playing it when you're drunk, THEN bitch about it.

Can't wait for the sequel.

Score: 9

"Pretty good, but..."

submission: Destroy All Zombies III

date: December 13, 2008

My ONLY complaint is that I don't know what to do to unlock the Shotgun Frenzy achievement. If I had that, then I would have done everything in this game but beat my all-time record for clearing it, about 10 minutes, countig pause time.

Make more, please.